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MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE....PART 2

Here I am again boring the pants off you (I hope not I don't particularly want to be blamed when your house catches on fire and you're found unconscious on the floor in front of your computer with your pants down now do I?) Well....pull them up and read on please!

Have you ever wondered why when you are stuck in a traffic jam that the person in the vehicle next to you always picks his/her nose? WELL...scientists believe that they have found a sex organ up the human nose of all places!!! So when you look over at that person just remember...they could be masturbating!!!! Disgusting isn't it and you just thought that their parents never taught them any manners.

Here in Australia we have a strange custom of calling the female of the species "sheilas". The mystery was recently explained by a Mr Kelly, keeper of antiquities at the National Musuem of Ireland. The term came from "Sheela-na-gigs" which were carvings of squatting women clutching their private parts which were placed above doorways in Churches in early Christianity, apparently the Irish bought the term to Australia last century. Heaven knows why we got stuck with it but there you go!

I'm beginning to believe that someone stuck a sign which reads "MOUSE MOTEL" over our doorway (no not a sheela-na-gig). I've caught five of the little buggers this month. One of them decided to check out my feet while I was on PowWow one day, despite bruising my knees trying to bring them up on the chair I still didn't get him. Mind you I had my revenge a day later...I cornered one in the kitchen, it was a battle to the death, me with a fire poker and Rasta (the wonderdog) both having a go at it. Mind you, Rasta nearly wore the poker on the nose. The end result, Rasta bit it, dropped it in disgust and then I finished it off and thoughtfully disposed of the body in the compost bin. Score: 1 down 4 to go. HINT OF THE WEEK: bait your traps with compressed fruit bars, four dead mice can attest to that one.

Now I couldn't finish this page off without at least one light hearted dig at males....Cambridge University in England research shows that males memories begin to decline after 20 years of age whereas women stay sharper well into their middle age! That could be the reason why the woman of the household can find any object within the house without looking up from whatever she is doing,, so fellas next time you can't find something GO HAVE A WOMAN'S LOOK FOR IT!!