Mumble, Mumble .... (Part 17)
Welcome fellow survivors of the fallopian highway (Flacco, from Sandman & Flacco Special)
Do you ever stop to think that among the millions of sperm released at the time of your conception yours was the one that made it? Do you know what that makes you??? You're right. YOUR A WINNER!!!! So no matter how disallusioned and let down you feel when that sweeps ticket keeps failing, just remember all the other million little spermies that couldn't swim as fast as you.
German scientists have exploded another wonderful myth for us (not sure if this is a good thing) anyway, it seems that sex can help prevent headaches by producing hormones that can also make you smarter. Does this mean that since I'm not as brainy as Einstein that I don't have enough sex?
Another set of scientists in California have found that having sex twice a week is supposed to boost your immune system. I wonder how these scientists explain what they do for a living at parties, and do they carry out their own tests???
A man in Thailand must be trying to get smarter and boost his system too. He eats three lizards a day to keep his sex drive up. Apparently it must work because his previous eight wives left him because they couldn't keep up with his sexual appetite!
Talking of sex and births, we've all heard the tales of women in the fields that stop to give birth and then get right on back to work, well in Nepal there was a twist in the tale when a woman left her exams to give birth and was back within 15 minutes to finish her papers. I wonder if the internet will become so important to us that we'll have a laptop in the delivery room so we don't have to leave the chat rooms? Could make for some interesting conversations, or even new acronyms....like HOAPC (hang on another pain coming) or STH (sh*t that hurt) or AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH (meaning ouch) and IAB or IAG (it's a boy/girl).
I hope you don't think I have sex on the mind, but it seems that the papers this month have been saturated with these little gems, so I'll bore you with one more.
In the USA the anti-nudity laws in some states prevent nude bars from operating. The owners have found a way around this. It would seem that theatrical performances are exempt from the anti-nudity laws, so these bars are staging nude performances of Macbeth and such like. Sort of gives new meanings to some of shakespears lines eg. Taming of the Shrew "Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me" or from Two Gentlemen of Verona "Thou shalt not live to brag what we have", and from Julius Caesar ".....heavy eyes awhile, And touch thy instrument a strain or two?"
And just to prove that I do read other topics....
A landscape gardener received a speeding fine. Not so interesting you say...well his car was being towed by a tow truck at the time! What makes this even more stupid is the fact that it was a speed camera in operation. Boy, Australia really is the clever country now isn't it?