MUMBLE, MUMBLE.....(PART 12)
Hey look...it's an even dozen! If you have patiently read through all 11 pages of my drivel, I SALUTE YOU. (But I think that you might need some professional help for your masochistic tendencies).
Talk about masochistic tendencies, a Mrs Curry of New York had 21 children. She may have won Mother of the Year but in my mind having 21 children is like self flagellation. Enough said...
No doubt you've heard all the hoo-haa about the wonder drug Viagra. Here in Australia there is talk of putting it on the pharmaceutical list, which basically means that those on pensions and the dole can get it for around $3.00. Boy....there's really gonna be some whoopee tonight in the old folks homes. Next time you are out and see a smiling pensioner, you can bet they've made use of their concession cards.
And to further entice the old fellas, the French have invented a bra that makes use of a piece of porous stone to give off a constant whiff of your favourite perfume all day. I wonder if they have one in the flavour of Eue De Computer, I'm so sure I could make a fortune with that one. But then again, the aroma of spilt coffee, food scraps and ashtrays might not really do the job. Hmmm....might have to work on that one.
The French also have a new underground movement (no not underwear...) it's called the Garden Gnome Liberation Front and I'm all for it! Those poor gnomes enslaved to the urban gardens, left to stand year after year in all conditions and all they ever get is ridicule. FREE THEM I SAY! I do hereby declare my home a haven for the garden gnomes of Australia and all who seek asylum here will be treated with respect and gnomanity! I think I will call it The Aussie Group Invitational Garden Gnome Liberation Effort or A GIGGLE for short.
Have you ever wondered why gnomes have huge silly grins?? It turns out that it's not the love of nature as such....scientists working on the global warming problem have discovered that the good old common earthworm is responsible for emitting nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and polluting the atmosphere. You know I think I might go out into the garden roll around among the freed gnomes and have me a good old giggle session too! Sounds like a cheaper diversion than Viagra anyway.