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MUMBLE, MUMBLE.....(PART 10)

Okay, here's one for all the guys that reckon I'm too harsh on them.

In Melbourne, Australia, a woman renewed her insurance policy on her vehicle and then, literally,  drove into the office!  At least she didn't have to go very far to fill in the claim form. Enough said..........

Are you the type that takes reading matter into the toilet? A firm in Normanby, France has the answer.  They have printed small articles on culture, geography and current affairs onto toilet paper.  Maybe we could create one or two for the internet fans, a long version with site descriptions, the odd flashing advert and Bill's face (go figure...) and then the short version which would consist of chat acronyms on two sheets only for the serious chat enthusiasts because they just wanna get back asap! I can see the future now.....a toilet roll for each member of the family so each interest is covered. I wonder if they do a braille version for those of us who don't bother turning on the light in the night?

Britain's Co-operative Funeral Service has compiled a....wait for it.....TOP 10 Funeral Song list!!!! Obviously Elton John's Candle in the Wind comes up no.1, followed by favourites such as Simply the Best (Tina Turner) My Way (Frank Sinatra) and Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton), but the one that took my fancy had to be Always look on the bright side of life (Month Python). Just imagine it, they are lowering your coffin into the earth and all around the mourners are whistling along with Eric Idle, now that's what I call a funeral!!!

And when things are pretty grim in the business world, the names get sillier too. Bob Hart of the Melbourne Herald Sun reported of the following: A firm of tree loppers called "The Tree Wise Men"  - A firm of locksmiths called "Goldie Locks" and finally a builder from Geelong whose called his company "Unlimited Erections"  I'd better not comment on that one......

And of course I couldn't finish without the usual 'tongue-in-cheek' dig at the guys.....Researchers at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit have found that men's brains shrink faster than a women's as he gets older. Apparently at a rate of 30% compared to 1% in a woman's, although I do wonder at the validity of that one, I still reckon that I lost brain cells with each pregnancy!!

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