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Mumble, Mumble .... (Part 18)

 

After celebrating yet another birthday I got to thinking about being old.  Not midlife stuff, I mean in the eighties and in old peoples homes.

When I was a kid old people were just old people, but I've just realised that they don't just appear....THEY GROW and you know what the scariest part is?  WE ARE THE SEEDLINGS!!!

Can you imagine us lot in an old people's home?  A typical afternoon in the geratric centre...Led Zeppelin records blasting, old men playing air guitars in their rocking chairs and little old ladies knitting G-Strings to sell at the local stall.  And the nursing staff with all the arrogance of youth privately referring to patients by the location of their body piercing and tattoos.   Come lights out time, we'll be bed hopping, well maybe bed hopping in slow motion, and complaining to staff about our internet access rights.  Yes, I can see us all growing old rather disgracefully!

If you're sure that the above situation is for you, then you'd better get into old age training now.  Scientists have found that doing things you like, shopping, playing cards, day trips can be as healthy as physical fitness and can help you live longer.  Does that mean that when I'm on the net into the middle of the night I'm doing my gymwork? 

Psychologists are on my side too.  They've studied human intelligence and the 24 hour clock and found that those of us late to bed, late to rise are definately more clever than the early to rise variety.  It seems we have a quicker mind and a better memory. 

I've just read something that has made me feel much better about my dreadful singing voice (even the dog cringes when I sing), anyway a regional British Airport is using Tina Turner's voice to scare birds off the runway.    Perhaps they could utilise my voice for keeping dogs away from gardens?

And ofcourse the polls have shown up a fact that us females have known all along, that men are not interested in relationships until after the siren sounds, then passion returns, especially if his team wins.  But what the poll did do was give away a favourite female secret, we don't follow you guys to the game to stay by your side...we're checking out the cute bods on the field!

Part 17