THE WIT & WISDOM OF RASTA THE WONDERDOG PART 2
ON MY ROLE IN THE HOUSEHOLD
I had to remind these humans of my standing in the household again the other night, I PROTECT THE PREMISES! Stupid humans don't seem to appreciate all the effort I put into barking. I think I sound quite majestic barking at shadows like that, but I'd be happier if those cats weren't sneering at me through the gate, humph!
The other day my mistress cornered a mouse in the kitchen, trouble is she kept getting in my way. Here I was bravely nipping at the thing and she kept trying to brain me with a fire poker. Mind you when I finally did bite the mouse it tasted quite icky and I'm not sure I like things in my mouth wriggling so much, that's when I decided to make her feel better and let her kill the mouse herself. A dog's got to let them know whose boss occasionally you know.
ON THE CORRECT ORDER OF THINGS...
Since I'm the top dog here I reserve the right to barge through doorways first. These pups of my mistress can't quite grasp the fact! They just shove me out of the way when I take my rightful place in the doorways, I can see I've got quite a job on my hands training them, the mistress has me worked out and the master...well he packs quite a wallop, so I've decided to let him in first when he's home.
Humans have the most comfortable kennels I swear.. those things they sit on to watch the moving pictures are heaven. They even have smaller square soft things to get really comfortable on, I must admit though, they're a bit of a problem when I turn three times to get comfy, they keep falling off! And the stuff they put on the floor, strangest grass I've ever seen! For some reason my mistress gets really upset when I vomit on it, I really don't know what the problem is...perhaps it's because the birds can't get in to clean it up?!? I'm rather incensed, she actually threw me outside when I vomited last time, the cheek of her!
I suppose next she'll be banning me from using this keyboard!
Mistress's note: I very nearly did, he's getting too arrogant!