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On Human Celebrations

My humans are behaving strangely again...they seem to do this about the same time each year. The first inkling I get of it is when they rustle around in dusty places and bring forth a big green fake tree that I'm not allowed to wee on.  Next they put all these bright things on it and yell at me if I go near it, and worst of all they put these blinking lights all over it and I can't get any decent shuteye when the stupid things are on.

But it doesn't stop there....this is followed by weeks of silliness on their part.  They go out an awful lot and leave me home alone with the blinking lights and when they come back they've been enjoying themselves and haven't taken me! 

At least I know when it's all over....that's the morning the kids get up before the sun and run amok in my sleeping area (how dare they).   They rip all this paper up and make lots of big noises (oh what a dog has to bear).   But I can't complain about all of it, the best part is the meal that day....the food is wonderful and there's heaps of it leftover for canines. The humans are so tired and full that I can sneak just about anything and not get caught...sure beats escaping to steal the next doors' cat food anyday!

On old age

Yes, the sage of dogs is growing old.  My muzzle is now nearly all grey and I can't seem to get going so good these days.  Life is tough when it takes three tries to make it up onto the mistress's sleeping platform. Aaah...but I can still remember the puppy days in my mind and now and again I get a little frisky and play with the kids, but most of the time I prefer to sleep.  At least that's what I used to do until this bird business.

On Birds

I'm starting to wonder about my mistress's sanity.   For a while now she's been putting seeds in a container in the tree for the birds. I was quite thankful too, because it bought in some really bright ones and I had such fun stalking them and scaring the living daylights out of them when she wasn't looking.   Really, you ought to hear the language of those parrots, it's disgusting.  I take my job seriously in protecting the ears of my owners....but what's worrying me is that now she's talking to one of the bright red and green ones and I don't think she realises what it's saying back to her.  She thinks it's being cute, but I know the language and for every cute thing she says, it's using four letter bird words.  I try my best to scare it away, but she's taken to closing the door on me when this bird arrives.  Humans can be so dumb, they don't realise what these feathery things are really saying to them and I can't be held responsible!

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