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THE WIT & WISDOM OF RASTA THE WONDERDOG.....

ON LIFE

The way I see it, you're only here to chew so many bones and dig so many holes, so I figure that you should do both as much as possible before the great dog in the sky calls. A few good rolls in delicious rotting matter don't go astray either.

ON BONE-ISM

Bone-ism is the way of the dog. It is a discipline only learned by few, but aped by many. It was passed on to me by my mother many full moons ago (fathers don't pass it on, because they never stay around) anyway I digress...where was I, that's right Bone-ism, well I can't tell you because it's a secret us dogs keep to ourselves, but I can tell you that it revolves around the worship of the bone (I hear that some female humans have a version of their own, but that's another story).

ON HUMANS

Weird mob and quite stupid I think, they throw a stick and yell something like "fetch". I know it's a stick so why call it a fetch? Any why should I run around the garden and bring it back? Why throw it in the first place? If I could work this lot out I'd be the King of Dogs!

And boy do they like water with yucky tasting stuff in it, the minute I acquire that wondrous odour of rotting matter they hold me down and I have to suffer the indignity of that wet stuff all over me. Mind you, it's fun getting them to run around the garden yelling and waving their arms by rolling in the sandpit and vegie patch while my coats still wet, ha ha ha, idiots!

They are good for some things though, my mistress shows some glimmer of intellect not expected in their breed, I've trained her to scratch my belly if I assume the position. I think that I'll have to teach her not to hit the spot that makes my back leg twitch though, it's not quite the done thing for a dog of my stature to endure, I do have a position to maintain you know.

I haven't been able to establish communication with them yet on the matter of food,(but that's not expected of an inferior breed is it?) My mistress seems to think that I want food with pictures of dog on it, I can't seem to get through to her that I want what she feeds her pups. Oh well, this page will be even better when she gets a real picture of me up there instead of that footrot flats dog!

Hopefully Rasta the Wonderdog will get access to the keyboard another day and I'll update it.