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MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE....

Yes, I've really hit the wall with this one, oh well here goes...

Did you know that it's dangerous to do your dishes?!!! A woman in Melbourne, Australia was standing at the sink doing the dishes during a thunderstorm when a freak lightening strike entered via the aerial, through the roof and connected. I always knew there was a reason that I hated doing the dishes. So buy a dishwasher you say. Yes, we can afford it but we can't afford a new house to put it in, this one is a little bit too cramped to fit one in my kitchen. The only other alternative is to remove the PC (shock, horror) to fit it in. It's nice to see that I have my priorities right!!!

I read in the paper today a new list of beauty treatments, get this, if you drink your own urine it will make you look younger, boost your immune system, repel allergies and make your eyes sparkle!!! I don't think it would work with me, reading about it made my eyes water and my throat constrict. The next one was just as bad, wait for it....Lamb Foetus Injections! Apparently they take extracts from lamb livers, kidneys and spleens of unborn lambs no less. It's said to improve skin tone, dexterity and hair condition (is that all you ask!) but hold your wallet ladies and gentlemen it costs $13,500 a treatment, I can see myself racing over to Europe just to get that one!

Actually I'd settle for a few more braincells. Scientists have proven that a woman's brain shrinks during pregnancy!! Yes, ladies, when you put the iron in the refrigerator and the shoes in the pantry you weren't losing your marbles, you'd just suffered memory compression! The good news is that some time later (I'm still waiting) your brain enlarges to its pre-pregnant size. So shove that little gem at your hubby next time he delights in the pregnancy tales.

Talking of which, mine suffered my morning sickness. Couldn't have done it better myself! When you come down to it it's all about sharing the burden isn't it. Pity he didn't see it that way for night feeds, are there hormones out there that can make a man's breast do the job? Too late now I fear, my rugrats are two and four now...but that's another page another day.