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MUMBLE, MUMBLE.....(PART 9)

Camping....a word that either strikes fear into the heart of the human species, or for some, conjures up delightful memories of relaxing times at the beach or mountains.

It's summertime here in Australia and a camping trip with hubby and the children at the beach gave rise to thoughts of the nature of us humans. We camping types are strange, we announce to all and sundry that we are 'going to get away from it all' and then proceed to take 'all' from the house. We spend numerous hours agonising over what to take and then proceed to tow heavy cumbersome trailers to other towns, set them up in neat little rows, plug in our electric gadgets (no, I didn't take the pc!) and proceed to act out our fantasy holiday.

A couple of things came to my notice whilst away. Why is it that a child that previously sleeps through the night, suddenly wakes every night to be taken to the toilets (quite a walk away)? Also, why is it that five minutes after you've lugged a ton of beach gear over rugged territory, the five year old suddenly needs to go to the toilet and there's no toilet in sight? Why is it that young children talk at full decibels, especially about private parts of their/your anatomy whilst under canvas? And finally...why is it that when you let the kids cover you with sand and make you into a mermaid that you don't notice that the younger one (3 y.o.) has fashioned you a penis and you've been lying there oblivious to it's presence for the last hour?

Here comes the crunch....if you're a mother nothing much changes......food still has to be cooked, clothes washed, young children washed and dirt is still the enemy. But despite all this, I still had a wonderful time and boy do you appreciate your own bed and bath once you get home!

Fella's....good news has come your way (excuse the pun) you can now rip up that gym membership, throw away those running shoes, suck on a tinny, guzzle all the food you like and smoke like a chimney.....why? Because Prof. George Davey Smith of the University of Bristol has concluded that men who had sex at least twice a week had halved the risk of death than those who only had sex monthly!! So there you are....frequent orgasms make you live longer (and some of you reckon I never write anything good about men :-)

Happy New Year for 1998!

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