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Mumble, Mumble......(Part 5)

Yeh Gads! Have I really made it to part 5?! I can't believe you lot have let me waffle on to this point, but then again you probably just skip this page anyway....

Okay....so what's happening out there in the real world (or maybe the internet is the real world and we're all dreaming the physical one?)

In Germany's Moselle region there was a pump failure at a winery and 2500 litres of champagne ended up flowing out of the town's water taps! Yee haw! It's partytime! Knowing our luck the sewerage treatment plant up the road would be the one to go....

Japanese scientists have been at it again, inventing new and unusual time saving devices....this time it's self cleaning windows. They coat the glass and hey presto! dirt is effortlessly washed away in the next rain storm. What I want though is the same stuff on all my furniture, the kids and even hubby so once a week I could break out a hose and save myself serious cleaning time.

The papers have been kind to you menfolk this month...not one disparaging article about your brains, genes or otherwise...this has left me with a very serious hole in my mumble page! How dare you lot be so normal, nice and kind! I need brain fodder here and you've cut supplies...so I'll just have to hang it on my ever faithful dog.

Every morning, the minute hubby starts the car to go to work (very early), there is a pounding of paws charging up the hallway as Rasta begins his morning ritual of jumping on my bed and smothering me with his version of kisses....well things didn't go to plan the other day...you see Rasta has become more like a coffee table than a dog! He just couldn't get his fat bottom (look I do have to keep this clean) on the bed!!! This was the animal that could jump six foot fences in a single bound!! I finally had to good look at my dog and realised that his legs weren't actually getting shorter...his gut was getting lower, it was time for action. So every night I literally drag the pooch around the steep hills of our town to wear off his love handles, so now he's taken up sleeping all day to get the energy to go for his walks at night! The diet regime is even worse...he hates the healthy stuff and has taken to following me everywhere just in case I'm going to relent and feed him a bickie or some other treat.... when he's not sleeping that is! The results....well I'm getting fitter and losing weight, but Rasta? Well, his eyes seem to have grown and he dribbles more when we eat!

New censoring software has hit the net....Image Censor has been designed to black out your screen when too much flesh is exposed...the only problem is that it gets confused between butts and bald men and blacks out at the first sight of a shiny pate! It's probably the first colour discriminatory software too....black flesh is immune to its powers! Great idea though guys!