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MUMBLE, MUMBLE......(PART 11)

I've just discovered a way to prove that you are a woman.   How?  I hear you ask...well I know I'm a woman because I'm totally illogical.   For instance, Easter has just been and by the Monday I was all chocolated out and decided that I had to go on a healthy diet. So in order to get rid of all the chocolate left, I ate it quicker!!

I've also decided to change my name....maybe to something that matches my personality better like...ummmm...XOBIA WORRIER PRINCESS.  I can see myself now dressed in a skimpy leather outfit, wielding a set of worry beads while I zoom about the house worrying about the constant mess, the food I haven't cooked because I've been on the pc too long and whether or not you can really see my knickers when I bend in this ridiculous outfit.  Well I guess that one might confuse the kids too much, they have enough to contend with a Mum who calls herself the Kitchen Sinker.

If you're sick of your name try the name game that owes its origins to the movie Boogie Nights.  You think about the name of the first pet you ever owned, as a first name, and then couple it with the name of the first street you ever lived in to arrive at your new screen identity for porno films.  Somehow I don't think that "Batcat Hyland" makes for a very sexy title for me. 

Talking of names...Bob Hart of the Melbourne Herald Sun has found some more beauties here in Victoria.  A second-hand book shop called Second Hand Prose, A fish and chip shop called Salt and Battery, a poultry shop called Absolutely Fowl, a rubbish skip hire company called Bin There Dump That and a public relations company called Brown Nose Publicity.

School holidays have struck yet again and the resultant braincell drain has left me with no fodder to harass the menfolk with, but I have learnt from the children that one of the Spice Girls has "thunderthighs", you have to wiggle your bottom suggestively when you dance and that Janet Jackson has "Tummy Bumps" hanging out of her top (this from the three year old).  If they are noticing these things from the music shows (in prime time) now I wonder what the next few years will bring? Hmmm... that's an excellent excuse to throw out the telly and buy another computer!

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