marriage

well at least we should be entitled to long service leave...... paid of
course.....
the goddess.....:)

Tamara says.....I think it is a bit much to expect some to drag themselves through a ten
year contract - nobody would commit themselves to a ten year contract in a
job!! Being a parent should be a 2 or 3 year contract, with options if
they look like they are actually going to start behaving themselves and
doing as they are told, same thing applies with husbands!!! (says she
coming up to year four of married life!!).

"Romeo" says....Means murder with cement boots at the bottom of a lake!!

Are you Kidding??? What if he turns out to be the most male chauvinistic,
woman basher, dirty and filthy shoe smellier, leave the soap drippy,
toothpaste all over the toothbrush, leave underwear on for two days kinda
man???? Then what???

Sharon & Debbie say....Why so long? Wouldn't a 12 month contract with six monthly performance reviews be more suitable?

Inga says ....Well, I am not sure whether it should be a contract at all because you shouldn't be tied to it...but if it was a contract - why for only 10 years?

Holly says...Contracts don't seem mean much anymore in any venture. But a service
warranty would be nice.

Jackie says...Why not get rid of the whole idea?? But if there has to be a contract,
make it one year with an option to review. Or maybe 6 months. Or
maybe....

Jennifer says...i think it's supposed to be for life or until you knock off the other
person first.

Jackie d says....No it shouldn't because you marry for life and most people now have seen what they are up against before they take the step of marriage. If unsure you shouldn't marry.

Richard says ... It took her that long just to get me carpet trained. I think my wife would
be sorely disappointed to have done all the hard work of finishing the raising of a male, to let someone else get any of the quality of the project. I'm not saying I'm not still kinda goofy, but after 23 years, no
one would even recognize me from the kid she started with.

Pax226 says....I agree with the confused 15 year old. I also thought marriage was for life.
You should check the person out thoroughly before you marry them.

Cheeryhi says...No, the contract part is okay, but it takes longer than that to raise the kids. I guess provisions for the kid's would have to be included in the contract. However, my X just disappeared. I don't think a contract would have helped get support for the kids any more than a court order does now.

Kathleen says ... message from a well worn 32 year old. Marriage licenses should be like your drivers license. When you accumulate too many points it gets taken away. As well as being revisable every 1,2,3,4,5 years. You choose.

Timily99 says ... Maybe with ongoing training. For both parties of course. While marriage for life is the best scenario, it just rarely happens. Two people must try very hard even to make it at all. BEST OF LUCK TO ALL!!!!!!

CooteeGRrl says ... I think yes. Most of the poeple i know who are now divorced were married for around 10 years. Some a few months less, and some a few months more. But around 10 years. Strange.....

Fivegram says ... Prefer a 1 year..renewable on the anniversary date...works for us... : )

Joe says .... Wonder what the kids think, I like to think it is forever, even beyond death. But I have only been together with my wife for 9 years, no probs yet.

Sunflowerpx says...In this day and age I don't think it's possible to have both parties agree to
a 10 year contract or even agree at all!!!!

(lab rat extraordinaire) says.....

I never viewed marriage as a contract negotiation, but I suppose two people entering such an endeavor might want to view it as such.

If training for male puppies are a contract negotiating point I would recommend that trainers get their fair share of the profits upon completion of said training. Both parties may then consider going through a bi annual requalification process or annual, as the case may be.

Holly says...in answer to your question should marriage be a 10 yr. contract? to that I say (only if he signs in blood his) I've been divorced now 32 yrs. and 5 kids i raised alone would never marry again and im 58 yrs. old alone now and loving it my web page addy is: www.angelfire.com/ct/hollybelle591

Amy C says...Marriage is for life. First of all, it's intended to be the most important decision of your life, so choose slowly, wisely and with discernment. Secondly, we're approaching 10 years and we're just now getting the hang of it! I'd have sooner given up any year prior to 10

John says...A ten year contract or not, without an honest commitment it don't mean much these days. Most people today are looking for an easy out before they get into a relationship. I believe if one has to sign a contract, that is a sign you can't believe or trust them, their words are hollow and void. Real
love don't need a contract it only needs honest commitment. Courtships are important, but we try to substitute all things for sex and call it love.

A man and woman who fall in love are like a gift, you have to unwrap it to find what is inside, the wrappings may look better then the inside.
We need to accept each other for what we are, not what think we can make that person into.
Woman usually have the most to lose in a bad relationship.

Jmrussell says...Ok, I have given thought to your question. Here is what I have come up with. I have been married 14 years and I would have to agree that marriage should be on a five year renewal plan kind of like leasing a car....after five years you should be able to evaluate your marriage and determine if it still works right, if the new year models suit you better, if your marriage has live up to the contract and if you are still getting the best mileage from it. If not then you should have the option of having it over hauled or trading it in for a better newer style. Without being penalized or ruining your credit. But see the catch is that then you would have to break in a new man, retrain and workout any bad habits.....so some folks like new cars and some like classic's. I would have to be the latter of those two. When you get married it is a contract and if the two parties involved don't live up to it....then I would have to say the contract in void. If marriage was only that easy ...oh god how much easier life would be..you think!

Rosie Sue says.....Unsure myself going on 27 years in a few months and that is yes to the same person. Vows should be review every 5years to keep on track

DreamMyst1 says....Marriage is a "till death do us part" commitment. If you can't commit to that, you don't belong with that person. I don't think people should live together either before marriage.

Lyndeez says.....After 10 years we hadn't thought it was the end of anything, but instead, a time for a strong statement. Our family was complete at that time. We decided to renew our wedding vows. In reality, the only thing that need replacing was bed linens, carpeting, large appliances etc. A strong
commitment to one another and little mini dates with one another are swell to keep love aglow. Attentive table talk is romantic as well. For those who have made the 32 year mark, as we will be achieving this August, please visit a page about Longevity in Love at my "Promises in Lace" web site and do join, if you wish your wedding picture shown here.

Sharon Rothe says...I think that's a bit too long.

Even leases on cars usually are only 4 years and well it's been my experience that husbands usually "break down" within a few months of marriage and there's no warranty even! 10 Years is definately too long. <grin>
I'm actually just kidding :)

Tommy T says....I'm going on to 20 yrs of marriage and would have loved to have a 10 yr contract. After 10 yrs of the same wife and 2 kids later, I knew what life was about and how to avoid making the same mistakes. The penalties for divorce in some states are severe and just because you want to upgrade the quality of your life with a more compatible version of "wife" should you be held in breach of
liabilities with your current one. If you want to keep your existing partner, I think after 10 yrs is sufficient time to decide if you done the right thing, with enough time to start again, before your body starts to fail you. Perhaps couples would try harder to keep the ones they love, if they knew that a renewal is just around the corner. My colleagues seem to think I have the perfect marriage,,,i think i just work harder and except peoples faults easier then they do. I would have had 2 contracts by this time and now plan on a new one with a different partner ,regardless what the losses are. What a waste ,don't you think ?

Lil The Super Wife says....Hey, i thought marriage was for life :) Well i tried before i brought , does that mean that the contract would be null & void then :) I am coming up to 18 years, what a milestone in this day & age , i should get a medal :)

Iseeit5911 says....Well....as for a contract I think it is a good idea, at the end of 10 years you can renew it for a specifc time. Having being married for 28 years...boy am I ready for a change!!!! Maybe not for life, but for a while to just see what the newer models have - lol

NGB85 says....Married 44 years to the same guy. I really think it is a life contract already, as it is in this society. In reality it is more a life sentense, and one should have at least an annual review with options to negotiate. :))

JHar100683 says....No you should live together for 10 years and then get married..::))

RoGo1 says....No I do not believe it should be a 10 year contract -- we have to learn what committment really is -- we take marriage to lightly -- maybe we need a required class or some sort of indebt lesson of what marriage is suppose to be -- -- it suppose to be a union between two people and there is not guarantee that the road won't get bumpy -- but we need to learn to use the seatbelts -- family comes from marriage -- we do not give up on our family -- or rather should not --- therefore I feel marriage should be a forever commitment and take the good and bad and make the most of it --- you cannot just quit -- you try to work things out. Americans today do that -- they do not have the courage to face their failures and try to correct them -- instead they walk away --- That is my thoughts on the 10 year plan. There are rare instances when I feel the marriage should end and those are extreme cases -- a drug abuser, a wife beater -- these severe cases -- but just the getting bored, the anger not discussed, the loss of physical attraction, etc. These can be worked on.

Twanda says....yes, I think that marriage should be a ten year contract. it is about that time frame that things begin to die and get tough

Rebdream says...A ten year contract? No Way. During that ten years you may find your real soul mate, if the one you married isn't it. Work on yourself, and all the rest will fall into place.

Tanya says....well girlfriend i don't know either. I think a marriage should be for life only if your husband is not an ash whole. If he is 10 years is too dang long. Of corse no man is perfect but at least they are warm at night. Sex is another matter what if the guy is great except he cant do it then what a ya do. these are the things that pleg my mind and make me say hum. well God love ya, tata4now

Dottie says...yes if the commitment is there. But not to confuse the issue here. The bedroom is of course our key girls. If he keeps us totally satisfied and coming back for more -- all else more or less fall into place. HOWEVER, if the sex life is left doormat -- look out even at 53 her passions run deep and must be fulfilled and make no mistake whether he is here, passed on, or simply doesn't care - THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER OUT THERE WHO WILL MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN - LOOK - I AM!!! And sex is even better at 53 than it was at 16. THE KEY: Keep the bedroom sexy and steaming and you'll have no worries.

clacy says...I am not saying I am perfect, but I did certain things I think are key BEFORE I got married. I finished grad school, lived in the city with my friends, then got my own place, then met someone whom I dated 2 years BEFORE the engagement, and married 3 years after we met. ( I was 2 weeks short of turning 28 and he was 30). This gives a person plenty of time to get to know the other person, and most importantly, time to get to know yourself. If you don't rush into things, no contract is necessary.

Pattywhak1 says...Too many people marry knowing they can just get out when they want. I believe marriage should be for life. It is a contract for life with God and one other person. The answer is NO>

Grace says...The problem is the length of the contact but we don't spend enough time on the pre-contractual stage. If we examined our life partner with the same intensity and detail that we have when buying a house or a car......perhaps then marriage could be a lifelong contract

Joseph says....Marriage is 4ever if you are not man or woman enough to discipline oneself to commit then you need to grow up more. It takes work on both partners. most people are lazy today & do not put the effort in.

Ms Cat says...my partner says that 10,000 years would not be enough.....i agree...(that is when he learns to put the lid back down on the toilet)...it would be the only contract i would enter..i want to be with him forever

Kim says...Hi my name is Kim,and I dont think marriage should be a 10 year contract for the following reasons;
1.if you aren't devoted to the person you should not have to be stuck with him/her.
2..if you are so sick of the person you might just move away and shatter the persons feelings.
3.if you get mad enough at the person that you are stuck living with, you might try to kill him/her you never know the world is crazy enough!

Donald and Peggy say...my husband and I have been married for 38 years and he still makes me laugh and keeps me happy

Eppysmom says...When you stand up before God and promise to love someone til death do you part, it is forever. P.S. Personally, I could never make that promise so haven't done it yet.

Shirlie says..I think the marriage contract needs to be renewed each week. I do know people who procrastinate and just stay married for lack of energy to kick one another out. but most of them need to be terminated anyway. One week. monday morning. each partner needs to sign up again for the coming week. And if one of them decides this is long enough, well, sign over all property to the children, if God Forbid, there are any, and leave. (this last provision is to protect the innocent persons brought into the world by two stupid horny just for-the-moment jerks and who need to continue eating,and going to school, wearing clothing, and going on expensive vacations.)

Ruth says...It should be a lifetime contract. It says for better or worse, until death separates

EPasley says...Outlaw it. Too many guys marry women and care nothing for them after the lust is over, and by that time there's a child on the way and you're sunk. I hate marriage and all it stands for...a 52 year survivor

Peg in Ma says...I think marriage should have to be renewed each and every year.

There are many reasons why I feel this way, but the most important one is, if we knew ,that after one year we could loose someone we really care for ,it would make us be more aware of each others feelings and need. We surely wouldn't take each other for granted, we would try to be our best at all times.We tend to take advantage of things when we feel we have a hold on them.

i dont think so... cause YOU can get out of a Contract too...... 6 of one, half dozen of another................ so to speak..... Ofcourse this is only MY OPINION>>>> take it for what its worth.... Dsrtroz1@aol.com by the way im 64, and not no dummy ....

DEston44 says...A 10 year contract---I'd be on my 6th contract In 1943, i paid $2 for the license and I want my money's worth. I have been happily married for 7 years-the other 50 have been hell LOL

Pegtex3780 says...No , I don't think Marriage should be a contract of any kind, it's a kiss instead of a handshake that seals these vows. It's the vows you reword if you're smart in the beginning. Reword it to fit your life style and views and get him/her to agree to them before the wedding. Some words of advice. If you sit guide lines even in an argument and you never go over that marked line in the sand, the foundation of your love will stand. You can undo most words spoken in anger, but some you can never take back. If you truly love each other you never utter those words (and you know what they are) in a fit of anger. In 41 years of marriage I learned that sometimes I am 60% right and sometimes he is 60% right. We never go to sleep mad at each other, not in 41 years. We still laugh and have fun, I tell him, he may not be as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was in the bedroom .LOL

Albysmom says...A ten year contract!!!!! No way. When you marry it should be for life if you listen to your marriage vows. My husband and I completed 60 years of marriage in September of 1999. It was a great marriage and we had 3 great children. I took my vows seriously. My dear husband passed away on December 26,1999. Death did part us but we had a good marriage.

Colbkan says...No, I dont believe it should be any contract. You wouldn't know if he/she has lost intrest and is just waiting out the contract just to divorce you in the end, or if he/she really wants to be with you. In my experience on marriage...I was married for 5 years and believe me, that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, good thing that I was able to get out of it!

Jane says...As long as you both agree, it doesn't really matter. If you both agree on a 10 year contract, fine, if you both agree on a lifetime contract, fine, if you both agree on a one night contract, who is to argue. As long as you both agree. I'm coming up to my 4th year, and we just happen to believe in the 'till death do us part bit'. Each to their own

Francine says...We should be given the oppportunity to renew the marriage contract every 2 years. It should work for both sides of course

Darlene says....I don't believe that anyone should be even thinking of marrying if they

aren't making a lifelong committment. If you don't know the person that you are marrying, then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. Both guys and gals like to use the BIG EXCUSE that they didn't know the person before and if they had, they wouldn't have married him/her........Well, duh! That's the whole problem in the nutshell.....You aren't supposed to marry someone you don't know. NEVER think that "Oh, I can change him/her once we're married.........Notta.....doesn't work that way! If there's something you don't like before you marry, marriage won't change it" Contracts aren't worth the paper they are written on.....There hasn't been a contract signed yet, that they haven't found a loophole to get out of it. So Why bother? One other point to think about people is that if there are things about your mate that you don't like, maybe its not that person but you are where the problem lies. Hmmmmmmmm?Everyone is NOT PERFECT! GOD KNOWS I'M NOT ........After being married for almost 30 years, there are lots of things that change over the years, but the basic human being that you married is not one of them.

Nancy says....Good Lord! Do you need a contract for everything? How about a contract for having children? Gosh folks grow up.
Marriage is for life and not enough people take it as solemnly as they
should. Holy Moley! Contract! Marriage is a vow to one another and God!

Brgnd101 says...I've been married 32 years and happily so. I used to say the same thing that marriage should be a 5 or 10 year contract, and then renewed if both wanted it, cancelled if that is what each wanted. People used to think I was crazy since like I said, I am happily married. It was just a thought then and now I see others are thought-n on the same lines.
Marriage is what you both put into it. Yes it is easier to walk away. There is a lot of temptation out there for him and her. But if ur not really ready to commit, sacrifice and honor your vows, don't do it.

Ann says...I think marriage should be a one year contract. I think it should run out at one year and if the couple wants to stay married they have to have another ceremony. If both know the contract date is coming up they will behave if they want to get it renewed. If they feel like it is over they can just not have the ceremony again and the divorce is done for them. I think it would make for better marriages and less bitter divorces. However in addition to that I think the marriage vows need to change. Why say until death do you part and for better or worse when the divorce rate is so high. I do not believe in for better or for worse. That means if "worse" means he becomes a drunk or a batterer, she has to stay. That's wrong. Men and women need to respect the individuality of the other person. It is nice to hear of couples who stay together for fifty years but I don't think they should brag about it in front of people who get divorced. All it means is that your spouse was loving and respectful and you were able to stay with them. OR it means you didn't have the guts to get out of a bad situation.

Mickey says...marriage should be a one year contract......... that can be renewed each year, if you chose to renew it!!!!!!!

Ginny says...Wow! You would ask me this - tonight of all nights! He's been a real pain in the.......well, you know! HAHA! It depends on the day, the situation, the mood,etc. Actually, it's probably a good thing that we're not "under contract." I love him A WHOLEBUNCH and all that, but sometimes - I WONDER? Ya know what I mean?

Nancy says...Yes I do agree marriage should be a ten year contract. Of course it you should be able to renew the contract if both parties agree. I think this would cut down on domestic problem and kids getting stuck in the middle of parents fighting. As mammals in the animal kingdom, try to match which mammals mate for life, there isn't too many.

The Gemini says...Yes, it is a contract. But not with each other as much as it is to God. I'm NOT a Bible thumper, very far from it. My belief is that if you're the kind of person who can't meet a commitment to be the kind of husband OR wife that you say you will be, then don't commit in the first place and save your partner the heartache. My marriage is 6 years young and, God willing, I will spend the rest of my life with her. She's not perfect, but neither am I. Stop looking for perfection and start looking for the middle ground you both can agree on. Marriage is NOT a 10 year contract, it's a life-long one. I was prepared to leave her twice, and twice she sought anger counciling. We're happier now, but I had many friends (both male and female) who told me to leave. I LOVE her, and that's what marriage is all about. LOVE, and sometimes, forgiveness

Mary Willette says...no , I think marriage is for life. unless there is abuse or unfaithfulness

Fennella says...10 years seems to be about the perfect time for any relationship - but tell me why it is woman may grow older physically, but never mentally, yet men..... yup they do it both ways.... If it was a 10 year contract, what would happen in year 9 - would we all go into free spin trying to get back that joie de vivre, or just think - whoooppee... here we go with another... or what total panic sink in at the thought of havin to start surfing the web to find a new one!

Bette says...been married for 53 years and still training him. Accomplished a lot in the last 53 years, and looking forward to the next 53!

Max says...I've been married twenty five years, the only thing I can suggest, is that it be mandatory for both parties to carry side arms!

Gennie says.......Married 10 years here. I think marriage should have contract of 3 years it seems after 2 years you get to know your spouse enough to know by the 3rd year if you still want in it! My marriage changed after 3 years the honey moon was over & seriousness began. We both changed just to say a marriage takes 2 to make it work and its not easy. God & love of family is our strength! Living together several years with counseling (even if you dont think you need it) before marriage is a good idea! My marriage started off sweet & full of love.

After 2 years he started slowly controlling me. I became strong and turned the tables..left. we both went to counseling together for several years. Now we treat each other equal with honor and talk. Counseling really help our marriage. I advice it to anyone who want to remain strong in a marriage, to keep a marriage strong. Communication is important to keep things balanced. Hope my summary of life helps someone. :-) I wish I had a contract after 3 years, but glad we worked it out as well with counseling. Its hard everyday work between us both!

ELMO SAYS...I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 47 YEARS TO THE SAME MAN TWO CHILDREN. FOUR GRAND CHILDREN AND SOON HAVE A GRATE GRATE GRAND CHILD. THREE DOGS. I GUESS I WOULD DO THE SAME THING AGAIN. WOULD CHANGE SOME.

John says....I was quite interested and humored in Your discussion about marriage... Mine SUCKED !!!! My Sweet Little Southern Doll turned out to a bi-sexual nightmare !! I probably wouldn't have minded much if the "other gal " was a , let me put it this way, able to take a picture without fugdin up the camera ... Oh well, That's LIFE.... I'll find a Sweetie some day... If not, I'll still die with a smile on my face cause life is that funny... Good Luck Everyone !!!! and Keep The Faith............................. and
It"s Me again.... I forgot to tell everyone that if I EVER say " I Do " again....... Without hesitation and My family won"t gripe at Ya for any reason, SHOOT MY *..........* DEAD !!!!!!!! Society got the wrong idea about marriage........ I really do think marriage was made to last and be something that was made to last "till death do us part" .. There was something there when we both said "I do" !!! I ask , " Why Me" ... but I know " What goes around , comes around.. So watch Your ass... But most of all , Enjoy !!!! I'm sure it can be OK if we all try....

Rhonda says...I believe that the institution of marriage has out lived it's usefulness all together. Being married has many drawbacks...You get to pay more taxes for being married. You, as a woman, can only save a small fraction for your retirement if you are married. Anything you purchase "together" has his name first and you get no credit for helping to pay for this. When the two of you decide you can no longer stand each other you get to pay a small fortune to get out of it. If marriages continue I think there should be some changes in the rules. First of all there should be no man that is allowed to marry before the age of 35, and this is after he has undergone a psychological review for level of maturity and dysfunctional personality typing. And then the couple should have to go through some serious marriage counseling, and not the joke counseling the church makes them go through, I mean some confrontational and educational counseling. Then, if they still feel the need, then by all means go ahead, but there is no divorce after this...it is FOREVER. This garbage of jumping into marriage because you are in lust with each other obviously doesn't work. Is all we are doing is making the legal profession a booming business!

Cathy says...No. When you take your vows, you make a promise to each other. Remember? Death do you part.

Angela says...Marriage shouldn't be a contract at all. If you can't look someone in the heart every day and be glad you're with them, nothing's going to save you. I think marriage is an unnatural and largely economic institution designed to keep us 'manageable' and to suck the love out of any relationship. That's pretty extreme - I just believe love is love. That's all.

Chris says.....Most of the people posting answers are in a sad state. Why bother getting married in the first place - just live with the person until your selfishness and self-actualisation determines that you need to "check out the other models". Why make a mockery out of marriage?

J.B. says....Legally, I don't know the difference between a contract and a vow. But if you take a vow in a church before the eyes of God, you better take it seriously. A contract sounds businesslike/formal and impersonal. I wouldn't exactly call marriage impersonal. My husband and I have been married 11 years-together for 4 before that. We waited six years to have kids. Kids are really hard on a marriage if you haven't set a good foundation.

Sheila says....We are nearing our 18th year of marriage. Up till last year I was hoping someone "better" would come along. Last year I really started praying for help to see my husband in a better light and for him to want to be a husband (and not just a breadwinner!). Things have changed this year.
Must be his age. Might be that I'm kinder. I believe people should see there mate as a fellow human being and not as a spouse, because we tend to treat non-family members better. If we treated them the way we would like to be treated, and vise versa, marriages would last longer. Besides men are men and women are women, in there lies the problem (THAT will never go away), so if you divorced each other to find someone else the problem will still be there. And on the other hand, the problem in your marriage could just be you. I kept trying to find something funny to say, since that's the way I usually am, but seeing that I'm on the otherside of 10 years of marriage, I thought I might have something constructive to contribute instead.

So ....Should marriage be a 10 year contract?